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Entry tags:
Rocking the Boat
So, I found myself involved in an altercation on my school program's facebook community the other day. I politely disagreed with someone, and found myself the target of rudeness, insults and some very strange accusations.
I was accused of leading at least one online community dedicated to discussing one of my instructors' personal lives. Apparently she has the screenshots to prove it. Needless to say, I'm doing nothing of the sort. I have no strong opinions about this particular teacher and I'm not interested enough in him to say much of anything, let alone run a community about him.
I was also accused of stalking the student doing the accusing. Again... no. I don't stalk people I don't like, I avoid them. But apparently I've been sending her all kinds of unsolicited emails.
Finally, and the only one that really hurt me, she claimed that everyone in the program is terrified of me, and that she's the only one with the guts to stand up to me.
She has also threatened to bring her "evidence" against me to the Dean and/or the President of the university. I don't believe she'll do it, so I called her out on it.
All throughout this conversation--and I admit my involvement went on about two posts longer than it should have, since I should have realized you can't argue with batshit insane and found a better use for my time--other members of the program were chiming in yelling at us and telling us to stop it. Some of them were quite rude.
Thing was, today, I was approached by no less than eight people, most of whom had yelled at me online, telling me they were glad someone had stood up to this woman, and that they were on MY side, really, but they were too afraid of her to stand up for me. But they swore, up and down, that now, they've got my back.
I didn't point out how useless it is to say you've got someone's back when you're too afraid of what they're facing to help them out with it. The only involvement they'll have with my back is to hide behind it if this woman attacks them. And I get that. The woman in question is charismatic, attractive, aggressive and utterly batshit insane. She is quite a bit older than most of them, having a daughter in the same program. And of the people who've talked to me, several of them have been insulted and/or threatened by this woman.
It was sweet of them to band together and assure me that really, they're on my side and will stand up for me, even though I don't believe they will (and I can't really blame them). But even sweeter, and with real meaning this time, was what they said in response to me being a gossip and a bully, feared by the whole program. "Come on, Erin", they said, "We know you better than that".
That meant something to me. I don't really fit in at school, being something around a decade older than most of my fellow students. I mostly hang out by myself. But I like my classmates, and I'm glad that they can see ugly things written about me and dismiss them without a second thought, because "they know me better than that".
I smiled all the way home.
Now, however, I'm aware of two other people who've been bullied by this woman. One of them was directly threatened... and I have evidence of that threat in my inbox. I wasn't going to do anything about this whole thing, because I figured she's just a bully and was just blowing smoke... but now I think I'm going to report the incident, just to find out what I should do if she does follow through with her threats to report my fictitious "behavior" to some sort of authority. I need to be sure that nothing is going to end up on my academic record... but more than that, the school needs to know how this woman is acting. The people who spoke to me today are frightened of her, and not ashamed to admit it.
I hate the feeling of holding a can of worms and knowing I'm going to have to reach for that can opener...
I was accused of leading at least one online community dedicated to discussing one of my instructors' personal lives. Apparently she has the screenshots to prove it. Needless to say, I'm doing nothing of the sort. I have no strong opinions about this particular teacher and I'm not interested enough in him to say much of anything, let alone run a community about him.
I was also accused of stalking the student doing the accusing. Again... no. I don't stalk people I don't like, I avoid them. But apparently I've been sending her all kinds of unsolicited emails.
Finally, and the only one that really hurt me, she claimed that everyone in the program is terrified of me, and that she's the only one with the guts to stand up to me.
She has also threatened to bring her "evidence" against me to the Dean and/or the President of the university. I don't believe she'll do it, so I called her out on it.
All throughout this conversation--and I admit my involvement went on about two posts longer than it should have, since I should have realized you can't argue with batshit insane and found a better use for my time--other members of the program were chiming in yelling at us and telling us to stop it. Some of them were quite rude.
Thing was, today, I was approached by no less than eight people, most of whom had yelled at me online, telling me they were glad someone had stood up to this woman, and that they were on MY side, really, but they were too afraid of her to stand up for me. But they swore, up and down, that now, they've got my back.
I didn't point out how useless it is to say you've got someone's back when you're too afraid of what they're facing to help them out with it. The only involvement they'll have with my back is to hide behind it if this woman attacks them. And I get that. The woman in question is charismatic, attractive, aggressive and utterly batshit insane. She is quite a bit older than most of them, having a daughter in the same program. And of the people who've talked to me, several of them have been insulted and/or threatened by this woman.
It was sweet of them to band together and assure me that really, they're on my side and will stand up for me, even though I don't believe they will (and I can't really blame them). But even sweeter, and with real meaning this time, was what they said in response to me being a gossip and a bully, feared by the whole program. "Come on, Erin", they said, "We know you better than that".
That meant something to me. I don't really fit in at school, being something around a decade older than most of my fellow students. I mostly hang out by myself. But I like my classmates, and I'm glad that they can see ugly things written about me and dismiss them without a second thought, because "they know me better than that".
I smiled all the way home.
Now, however, I'm aware of two other people who've been bullied by this woman. One of them was directly threatened... and I have evidence of that threat in my inbox. I wasn't going to do anything about this whole thing, because I figured she's just a bully and was just blowing smoke... but now I think I'm going to report the incident, just to find out what I should do if she does follow through with her threats to report my fictitious "behavior" to some sort of authority. I need to be sure that nothing is going to end up on my academic record... but more than that, the school needs to know how this woman is acting. The people who spoke to me today are frightened of her, and not ashamed to admit it.
I hate the feeling of holding a can of worms and knowing I'm going to have to reach for that can opener...